How the Mighty Fall

Jim Collins has written a recent book entitled “How the Mighty Fall and why some companies Never Give In“. This subject is as germain to personal life as it is to corporate life. This past week another high profile individual confessed to an adulterous affair casting doubt on his ability to continue leading effectively. For some of us this raises the question, “How do affairs happen?” While the scheduling of yesterday’s message was planned more than a month ago, the timeliness of our pastor’s message couldn’t have been more appropriate.

I would encourage you to go to http://www.newlifechurch.org/displaypodcast.jsp?id=6 to listen to the entirety of the message. Key points from the message based on Proverbs chapter 5 are:

Four lies we help ourselves believe:

  • I deserve to be happy
  • Another man or woman can make me happy
  • I married the wrong person so I deserve another chance
  • I’m not good at marriage so just want to get out

There are 12 steps we take as we move down the slippery slope toward an affair and our own ruin:

  1. Something makes you lean away from your marriage
  2. You develop an awareness of another person
  3. Innocent meetings open the door for flirting
  4. Meetings become intentional and aer planned by at least one party
  5. In group settings the two linger for conversation
  6. Conversation topics slip to feelings
  7. Isolated meetings are scheduled under the guise of legitimate purpose
  8. Isolated meetings begin to happen for pleasure
  9. Embraces become affectionate and pleasurable touching begins
  10. Embraces become passionate
  11. Adultery happens
  12. Affair is made public

Based on feedback from those who have gone down this path there are two truths to keep in mind:

  • It will cost more than we think – Proverbs 5:7-14
  • The blessing is at home – Proverbs 5:15-19

How to affair-proof your marriage:

  • Pray with your spouse
  • Date one-another and be date-able
  • Talk openly about temptations
  • Stay accountable
  • Praise each other

Thoughts on accountability:

  • Person should be more spiritually mature than you are
  • while it is ok to include your spouse it needs to be someone other than your spouse
  • it needs to be someone who can help

These are the ‘cliff notes’ on the message. I thought it was timely, appropriate and uncommon teaching to be hearing from the church where it ought to be taught with greater regularity.

Again I urge you to click on the link: http://www.newlifechurch.org/displaypodcast.jsp?id=6 to get the full story on this timely message from Pastor Brady Boyd.

About ponderosapapa

Papa to five grandchildren, Dad to two daughters and two sons-in-law, Husband of one wife. Leaving a legacy of thought and perspective worth carrying through the generations that follow.
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